I once gave a sermon and wanted to call it, “Your Words Matter.” I always pray before I do just about anything. I especially pray when formatting a sermon or writing one of these articles, so I felt like the Holy Spirit wanted me to talk about the importance of our words. So, I read through some solid passages, such as James 3:1-12 and Matthew 12:33-37, until the Lord decided I found what He wanted me to share. I eventually entitled the sermon, “Watch Your Mouth.”
However, I’m not going to offer that sermon. I believe God is always ‘baking fresh bread from the ovens of Heaven,’ our daily bread just as His mercies are new every day. The word is ‘rhema’ in Greek. A ‘rhema’ is a prophetic now word. Speaking of which, evidently, now is the time for you to read this article. So, let’s go.
33 “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. 35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:33-37)
As Jesus said, ‘Everyone will have to give an account for every empty word they have spoken.’ Everyone. You, me, everyone. I’m not sure about you, but the thought of that does something to me. I’ve said some mighty regretful things over the years, like arrows I shot, wishing I could pluck them out of the air - or other peoples’ hearts.
Oh, at the time they seemed like sweet revenge; the kind of biting remarks that cause people to know they messed with the wrong guy. I hoped to teach them not to mess with me. Maybe next time they won’t bring that stuff around. Well, as time revealed, that stuff didn’t come back around because they didn’t come back around. I thought I found a winning formula: Get the riff-raff out of my life and all will be peaceful and right. A downright Utopian ideal … until reality hit me like a flaming dart from the devil. (Ephesians 6:16)
One thing we might not understand is that our words can curse or bless. Sometimes, people mix the words curse and cuss as if they share a definition, but cussing is not cursing and vice versa. Cussing is a verbal problem used most often by people who struggle to find words to express what they’re really trying to say. Cursing happens when a person says something that is meant to bring about negative, supernatural change in a rival’s life. Regardless, we should not be cursing anybody, but seeking to disciple them and bless them with kindness and invaluable friendship.
One toxic thing some people do is play games. “Oh, the games people play!” Playing games with someone’s feelings isn’t a loving thing to do. I’ve never been in a relationship that went well after someone played head games. True friendship is rare, but if you want to ruin a relationship, play head games.
A person’s heart is not a sporting good. It’s not meant to be played with, kicked to the curb, or tossed around for our enjoyment. We are not to make fun of, put others down, or harass or embarrass others. We will be held accountable for the words we speak. Not just for the moment in time when something happens, but for the damage our words continue to cause until healing takes place. If healing ever takes place.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)
… because more people than you know are listening. We often think it’s just me and the one I’m talking to unless we’re in a large group of people, but the truth is that people around us listen to what we say.
“Time heals all wounds,” they say. But not all wounds heal. What does time have to do with healing a wound? Some wounds turn gangrene and take a person’s life if not properly treated.
Many of us have sung, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me,” right after someone said something harmful. The trouble is, the damage was already done and pretending their words did not hurt our feelings accomplished nothing.
Generation after generation, mankind has tolerated not only impudent behavior and speech from rabble and rabble rousers, but the resulting breaking of hearts from good lovin’ gone bad.
God doesn’t wink at our sins. It’s not loving to chuckle when someone commits regular sins; it’s unloving. Tolerance of sin is ungodly. Especially ours. Maybe the real reason we play head games with other peoples’ sins is because we play head games with our own. What if we stopped that sin? What would happen? Would we fall apart? I doubt it. We’d probably experience some disconnection from those who have weighed us down with their sins, though. Drawing closer to Jesus often means we have to draw away from our pretend friends.
If I am honest with you, I must tell you about the hazards of making peace with yourself when you should be making war with the enemy inside. It’s one thing to have someone else say mean things to us, but what about the mean things we’ve said about ourselves? Our own self-talk is sometimes more harmful than anyone else’s cruel verbiage. When we treat ourselves poorly, it is an indictment against our own character. Our words are not an indicator of someone else’s poor decisions, but of ours. The problem isn’t always ‘out there.’ Well, unless you’re a narcissist. But that’s a whole other problem.
Shameful speech comes from shame, not you. You may not realize it, but shame is an evil spirit. If we lie, it might be coming from a lying spirit. The evil that comes to us and through us only comes from Satan and his demons. These evil spirits enter our lives, intentional or not, when we have partnered with them for personal gain. The number one way demons enter us is while being abused or when we abused others. Have you premeditated or entertained evil in your heart?
But Rebekah heard about Esau’s plans. So she sent for Jacob and told him, “Listen, Esau is consoling himself by plotting to kill you. (Genesis 27:42)
Again …
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. (Matthew 12:35)
It’s human nature to get all bent out of shape when someone does something bad to us or says something bad about us, but how often do we consider, ‘You will reap what you sow’? It’s not like we’re innocent of wrongdoing. The Law of the Harvest will remain intact until the end of time. Maybe it is best that we fulfill the Golden Rule. (Matthew 7:12)
After years of embitterment and resentment over multiple regretful moments, my thought life became a breeding ground for depression and suicidal thoughts. One side fighting with the other. Be a good boy. Be a bad boy. Rewards came for both. No wonder there are so many double-minded people, aka, hypocrites. If there were no reward for committing evil, there would be a whole lot less. Hmm.
I used drugs, alcohol, sex, and meditation to try to relax and find inner peace because I wasn’t about to go to God with my junk. I blamed Him for allowing all the insanity in the first place. All I kept finding, when I came to my senses, was me. No matter what, I kept showing up in the mirror. I was not just victimized by those in the general public, but by my broken self. I became a full-fledged impostor, and not just someone with an impostor syndrome.
I became someone I hated because I was trained to hate myself. Evidently, I was never good enough by anyone’s standard. I’d have made changes, but what changes could I make when nothing I did was good enough?
I would have backtracked, but I didn’t know how to backtrack. Patterns are patterns and habits often consume us, good and bad. ‘Everything happens for a reason’? Good and bad. (Romans 12:2)
How was I to stop hating myself when it seemed inevitable that I would wind up where I was? ‘Well, silly, you just start making better decisions. Duh.’ The mind that got us into trouble isn’t the mind that will get us, and keep us, out of it. Changes, wholesale changes, needed to be made - emotional, spiritual, and physical - but how was I to go about it?
If a single, historical moment yielded a painful memory time after time, that seemed like a good place to start. After starting the process of seeking God for healing, I realized something. If one’s leg is broken, it needs to be reset and placed in a cast. However, if one’s heart is broken, no cast system exists. (Psalm 34:18)
If you’re anything like I was, you might have gotten to the end of your rope and, though it might not make sense right now, to take your broken heart - pieces and all - before our loving God, but nothing else has worked. What have you got to lose?
If you have never trusted Jesus for anything, it might seem odd to trust in a Person you cannot see to heal a broken heart you cannot see … but sure can feel. Well, I was right there until my life was about to come to a crashing halt. How could I trust a God I didn’t trust? How does someone do that? “Don’t talk to strangers,” right? God was a stranger. Something had to give. Guess who that was.
Well, with the mess I had, I had to start somewhere. Yes, vulnerability sucks. I didn’t say it was easy.
Fun Fact: We can change our minds quite easily. We can acknowledge the truth in a moment if we will agree to see it from the right perspective. The difficulty is in how to make the resulting decisions and changes. If we humble ourselves and accept correction, true freedom can come quickly. When we place our trust in Jesus, He’s responsible for how our lives turn out. We become His fellow servants because we are also His brothers and sisters. Being adopted as sons and daughters of the Most High God is an invaluable gift. It truly pays to know what Jesus did for us.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. (Romans 8:28-29)
For all intents and purposes, and no matter what someone told you, there is no risk in trusting God. He will never fail you. Too often our minds have been clouded with doubts about God and the same what-ifs Adam and Eve probably had. So, we can take the ‘risk’ of trusting God, but let me assure you, it is 100% worth it. Again, He will never fail you. You may fail you, but He never will.
You may not always like the way He runs things because, after all those years of doing things our way (actually Satan’s way), we have to humble ourselves and be the servant, not the served. We take on the role of servant and pray in the Name of Jesus; One who truly understands what it’s like to be human. (Matthew 20:28)
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
(Hebrews 4:15-16)
So you can trust Jesus. Just give Him a chance. Now what? Your heart still hurts. Let’s get back to that.
Sometimes we endlessly repeat what happened ‘that day.’ Why? In case it ever happens again? It won’t. That situation can never happen again if you make the necessary changes. When we make personal changes, the people around us have to accommodate the new us.
Rehashing old conversations and situations and allowing the pain to fester is rarely ever a good idea. Like a splinter in our soul, we have sometimes pretended that we could one day just pick up the phone, have a pleasant conversation, the splinter would be extracted, and the wound would heal. Badda boom, badda bing. Things made right with a single phone call. Who wouldn’t want to make things right when they caused pain to someone who loved them? It’s not like the world is overpopulated with loving and gracious people.
But how do we make things right with others if we aren’t making things right within us? What would be the point? When oxygen levels drop on an airplane, aren’t we instructed to mask up before we try to help someone else?
How can I love my neighbor as myself if I don’t love myself? If my words keep producing bad feelings and negative outcomes, and I’ve been parroting the very words Satan has pumped into my mind via intrusive thoughts, shouldn’t I start with me?
1 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. 3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. (James 3:1-12)
It is cathartic to open up to another person. If you have not, please discover the power of confession, not just to another person, but especially to God. Confession is indeed good for one’s soul because it helps us better understand the nature of our wrongs and opening up to someone gives us the chance to heal and make friends. Compassionate people like to exercise empathy, so give ‘em a chance!
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)
We shouldn’t confess our junk to just anybody. Finding someone with which to truly be real and accountable is critical when we’re trying to get out of the darkness once and for all. That’s exactly where Jesus comes into our situation. In Him there is no darkness (1 John 1:5) because Jesus is the Light of the World.
When we watch our mouths, we quickly realize our need for a heart cleaning. Then when we inspect our heart, we find it needs some healing. Once our heart is healed, our words will change because we will no longer pay our pain forward. And you will also notice that some demons will have to leave as a result, meaning additional freedom is now to be had.
PRAYER
Father God, thank You for the opportunity to pray, knowing that You hear me. You reject nobody who comes to You in earnest. Here I am. I come to You in need of help. Please help me open up to You. Please show me who else I should talk to. Show me where I need to go for healing prayer and spiritual guidance. I look to You to guide me into all truth, so please fill me with a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit and teach me Your ways. I eagerly desire all the spiritual gifts, but I acknowledge that I need healing. Heal my broken heart. Please forgive the ones who have hurt me (list them now) and I release them to You for correction and for their own healing. Help me make things right where I made them wrong. Set me free from all demonic alliances and afflictions. I apologize for all the terrible things I have said over the years. Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, my Lord and my God. Halleluyah!
In Jesus’ holy name I pray, amen!
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